First Baptist Church | 414 Pecan Ave| Philadelhia, MS 39350 | fbcphilly.com | January 17, 2018
But then September came.
And I was diagnosed with cancer.
I was set to sing this song for a huge radio conference the same week of my diagnosis, and
as I was rehearsing, I got to the lyrics of the chorus: help me want the Healer, more than the healing...I couldn't get the words out. "No!", I screamed in my mind. "No!
No! No!" This song was for someone else's story. This song was to help someone else. But God knew back in 2015 when I recorded it, that He was going to help me
learn to live it 2 years later.
And so, I walked out on that stage and sang this song. And I felt like such a fraud, because
honestly, I just wanted the healing. But I so tangibly and sincerely felt Him say: "get your mind off your circumstances, and focus your eyes on ME. Stop thinking of all
that you need me to do for you, and start thinking about WHO I AM. Write it down, say it out loud. Do it continually and it will take root."
Our outcomes do not determine His goodness. As I focused on HIM and Him alone, I began to
experience His peace that completely passes understanding. I'm talking about a calm in the depth of my soul that doesn't even make sense. I actually felt His nearness in a way I had never experienced before. I encountered His presence in a
way I never knew possible. This is WHO HE IS - personal, always reaching, always pursuing. In order to go higher, we must go deeper. Sometimes it takes walking
through the valley of the shadow of death to get us there.
His favor often comes in the package of suffering and hardship. Because He uses our
uncertainties, the unknowns, the devastations to grow us deep, and take us high.
No matter what we are in the middle of, God is already HERE. And no matter what lies ahead,
God is already THERE.
So - no more resolutions. Only continued revelations.